Past Lover

Your touch whispers soft secrets into my skin,
and my heart beats
like the wings of a sparrow in the clouds.

You lift a delicate hand,
and murmur a small “hello,”
but your lips are only
a ghost of a memory
of a time when we loved.

it is officially nowrimo (for me, at least.)

If you want to beta for me, please just let me know! all installments of this (soon-to-be) novel can be found here. I’m beginning my writing in short stories, like snippets I guess. Later I want to go in and re arrange them chronologically, edit, add fluff, etc. etc. let me know what you think (drop by my ask)!

  • official word count: 631

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Feeling slightly manic
and quite insomniatic;
Im gripping at my skull
just to keep the pieces together.

Im here and there, and then im lost
in a sea of reverie.
Im lost in a sea of blue eyes, flushed cheeks,
and the comfort of you and me.

Do you remember when you said
that i was yours and you were mine?
Now we can’t see eye to eye.
we’re falling down, losing ground,
and the world is spinning madly on.

Im alive but barely breathing;
Im looking and barely seeing;
Im lost but I am home,
and I have nowhere else to go.

Im feeling slightly manic
and quite insomniatic…

Can you tell me where the hell I’m supposed to go from here?



FACT: i am a hopeless romantic.

its 11:11 and guess what i wished for? you. The answer is always you.

Not more than an hour ago we sat on this couch. Your head was buried in my shoulder and my free hand was loosely intertwined with yours. I was begging you to tell me the end of the movie we were watching but as per usual, you wouldn’t budge, and as per usual, i was threatening you with the mother of all punishments. I unlaced my fingers from yours and began gently squeezing at your side, giggling as you tried to push me away. I moved so i could use both hands to attack your stomach, and murmured “tell me” into the side of your neck. This evolved in the usual fashion, and we ended up with our limbs tangled together in some seemingly impossible manner, breathing deeply, with remnants of giggles still passing our lips occasionally, with my heart aching to get closer to you and tell you all of the things racing through my brain. As per usual, i pushed all of that aside and tried to enjoy what I did have. We had missed a good 10 minutes of the movie, but neither of us seemed to noticed or care.

No more than 45 minutes ago we sat on this couch. We watched JennaMarbles videos and laughed uncontrollably for a while. We talked about stupid things people do and the technical difficulty of modern art and the falling standard of what is considered “good” nowadays and I smiled because most of the time, nobody cares what I have to say on the matter. I asked you about your leprechaun boyfriend and you told me he was good. Then you went on to explain how he was annoying sometimes and i kept my mouth shut because inside, I was beaming.

No more then half an hour ago I dropped you off at your house. You said you were tired but it was only 10:30 so instead I assumed that you were as scared of what was happening as I was. On my way home I stopped at my favorite spot and I stood and watched the water for a while. Actually, I couldn’t see the water so I listened instead. Its windy out tonight, and its cold. I thought about all of the things that were going through my head. I thought about how I almost had you but was too much of a chicken so instead I smoked a cigarette to calm my trembling hands and went home. I thought about the time I called you crying. I was walking in the rain and you came to pick me up and you brought a towel and you let me cry and sleep over at your house. I thought about how strongly I feel for you and how much I want to tell you and how Im scared that would mean that I would have to give you up. I thought about how you make me want to be a better person, how you make me want to get my shit together and actually make something of myself. I thought about how much I love that about you, and how much I hate it.

blah.


THAT AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN THE GIRL YOU HAD A HUUUUGE CRUSH ON LAST YEAR FINDS YOUR OKCUPID PROFILE AND MESSAGES YOU.

GUYS. GUYS HELP. GUYS IM FREAKING OUT.

SHES SO ATTRACTIVE AND SHES TALENTED AND SJKDSHDFKJHDFF AND SHE SINGS AND SHE LOOKS LIKE JULIE AND OMG I WAS LIKE SERIOUSLY IN LOVE WITH HER LAST YEAR BEFORE SHE LEFT FOR COLLEGE.

and before she left we were almost dating but then she had to go be talented and get a scholarship and graduate early my life is fucked.




The moment when you realize just how many people in your family won’t support your sexuality…

mycoolstorybro:

the moment when you dont give a shit

if only i could not give a shit. that would be cool.